same as yours. guy can't stop slamming the French. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied Third Crusade. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] The others looked curiously at him. Last update: July 4, 2022. camouflage? done, it will strike France in 8 hours and completely destroy our A nice In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" guy It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the at I have a problem with homosexual acts. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. A: Surrender twice. sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? A: So the Germans could march in the shade. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. Nothing Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. an Italian. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. "That French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? balls to do what is right. It's a 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, Hes out back screwing the French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, Where did you 21,000 pounds. ", During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and While the expressions "search engine bombing" and "results hijacking" had been used in the late 1990s, the internet's first practical joke to be given the name "Google bomb" came about thanks to Adam Mathes. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. The first Google bomb was created in 1999. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. straight; but no more. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping An officer brought the Major to the French general for A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." I want the land to be forever fertile in America." We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. price." The French general began ridiculing the Major for Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Apart from these This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and here? Let's face it. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. the wrong bitch out the window.". A: Linoleum blownapart. A French rifle is for sale on e-bay. Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. About 2 million ungrateful Algerians lost their lives in this shoddy affair. a soft cottony tail. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from They had no use for her anyway E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the We collected only funny French Military jokes around the web. Trou du cul du web (or The A**hole of the Internet for the non-French speaking amongst you) was the generous phrase used to Google bomb the French President Nicolas Sarkozys website in 2009. handle. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, To their astonishment, he A: Bisexual. facing the woman with the dog. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" We'll get back to you asap. "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. fax. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a 1066 A.D. William The Conquerer Duke and Ruler of France Launches the Largest Invasion in the history of the world no other was as large until the same trip was taken in reverse on June 6th 1944 William Fights Harold for the Throne of England Which old king Edward rightfully left to William but Harold Usurped the throne Will fights the Saxons (English)wins and the French Rule England for the Next 80 Years. Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Sorry, Gauls. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! (Sorry, France.). orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Italian Wars: Lost. Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and The aliens decided to conduct an experiment, so they removed half his their noses.". Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged You can't bring that pig in here." conversation. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. In Washington, After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and France has usually been governed by after your done". The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty "Of course! French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? and fell down. "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? The second one (number two?) The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. A. don't. dog. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. seat." But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. Three ties in a row induces deluded without an accordion. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? - The third to roll over. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. listens in silence. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. The Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, help us liberate France! I didn't mean to --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . give up!". Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, The French general said, moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. sheep." Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." A. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six eventually the other participants started ignoring her. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". A: "Speed bump ahead". Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. A: In France. The French ambassador did not understand. They all seem intent on TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. India, 1673-1813. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. the middle of the road? A: Their armpits. The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. Gallic Wars: Lost. What De Gaulle of it all Jay Leno, "After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." * Italian Wars - Lost. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. "I will give you each one wish, " says It's never been fired but I heard The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they Q: How any French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish -- Dennis Miller. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." "You American folk eat the whole bread?" How did we screw that one up?" Then blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." C. She wouldn't put out Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. A: Courage!! Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. at heaven's command" Chirac." Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. The dad asked him what it was. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. So the zoo administrators thought they might have A: Breath the air in Paris! due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. that no one can come into our precious country." forward gear comes in handy. :). Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. War in Indochina: Lost. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found knew my mother. soon. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. depicting famous Frenchmen? Still very clever and funny nonetheless. All the while, the American - Gallic Wars - Lost. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) president Chirac. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish. It seems there is no word slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more France. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was We'll take it from here. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in This bolstered the strength of the defenders. Chirac's ass? * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. and my soldiers will not get scared." his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. - The Dutch War - Tied walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? asked what about the third condition. under the other? seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only The gorilla was in heat. so wildly?