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He was everything I wanted and needed. The result is that many people get taken for granted and when this goes on for too long, the bond between the two people begins to crumble. I have nightmares constantly if someone taking advantage of me and Im not able to move. marriage may have run its course. Also to add, i never had any abusive relation with my wife, we still have very good time, laugh and care for each other, just that i have lost interest in physical relation with her. We started by outlining how their distance began, and discovered that a lot of what frustrated him in his marriage was feeling undervalued. He said he would stop so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and mostly because I didnt want to break up our family (at this point we had 2 daughters). Eventually the kids will catch up. If youre not happy with your spouse and you tried everything to make it work, then who are you fooling? This is a very uncomfortable and challenging situation, and it isnt as uncommon as you might think. Watching someone you love, Love somebody else. Instead of condemning people, lets try to understand them. That way, we can ask you targetted questions that can help you define the right steps to take. This is where communication comes into play so that the two spouses can determine the best environment for their children. I cant stop loving this man. Im in the same boat but only that Im a woman and my story is similar to yours. Wishing you all the very best! Its very important to ask yourself the tough questions to figure out if you WANT to make your marriage work or if you just feel obligated to do so. You can help this process by setting some boundaries with the other man or woman. And i love him now. Together, we developed ways to communicate these needs to his wife, and worked on how he can nourish is own self-esteem without seeking external validation. The simple association with it is enough to spark a persons dislike. Am also worried if i stay in the marriage i may never be truly happy again as he (my husband)cant love me the way i want to be loved. I felt excited about Chris but not about my husband, and thats when I realized that something was wrong. One of the women never have been with a woman and the other has been with two before her. This man sounds great, and he will understand that you will need some time on your own. We have two grown children. Thanks for helping out, excellent information. I love this man so much with all my soul. After a year of my marriage I realized that it was always my high school friend I was in love with and I still love him till the present day, its the same for him as well. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. My issue is this: I love my husband, Im not ready to give up his friend ship, or him as a person just as a lover. But hes more down to earth, having this job since he was 17 years old and just live his life day by day. I have been married for 25 years to my best friend. I would recommend a private coaching session in order to go into more detail regarding your current relationship with your wife. Is it a defense mechanism as a result of something that hurt them at some point in their past? We dont have children yet, but we want to. I have been married for almost 7 years now and I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. My husband has had many affairs on me and after things went south I realized I was not making him a priority due to the hurt I felt from the affairs and I started to close off. For some of you, you might be feeling like you are in love with two people at the same time, and others of you might feel that you dont feel anything for your spouse anymore. While being away it was about the 7th month. Again, you have to WANT to salvage this marriage you want it to survive. I am separated from my husband but we still live under the same roof in separate parts of the house because were not in a good financial position to be approved for new rental places of our own. Of course, the first thing you should do is determine whether this other person is worth leaving your current relationship. To work with us, just click here! Each and every one of us has their our love language and when we arent speaking the right one to each other, it can be easy to develop a disconnect and you might find that yourmarriage is suffering. There is no doubt about it, this is a pretty sticky situation. He even confessed of trailing me on Facebook and downloading every pictures of me. She sais she loves me, but she cant decide what to do, because the love for him is also strong or so she thinks. In the beginning of my husband and Is relationship it was amazing. Common Reasons for Falling in Love With Someone Else when Married Developing feelings for someone else is more common when you're experiencing problems in your marriage. This poem really spelt out my thoughts. Ive read a lot of books etc and am trying but with zero encouragement from him and no interest. I am just empty and looking for love and to be loved. I am so lost without him; I feel like he was brought in to my life for a reason. You can start to feel neglected or unfulfilled by your relationship, so you begin to look elsewhere. You can get in touch with them directly by calling 1-800-799-7233, or if you are in a situation where you are unable to talk safely, you can log on to http://www.thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474. Every single marriage is unique and has its own intricacies, and by working together we can pinpoint the exact problems and define concrete solutions to help you reach your goal. And last night, my guy told me, he just wants me to be honest with myself and to not let other people treat me as a doormat and put myself first. Unhappy and lonely, I tried to be content and happy whatever differences in opinions were and what ever much he hurt me I learned to let it go almost instantly. Acts of service are things that your spouse would really like you to do. You can never force it, but once it arrives and settles in, you need to actively preserve it if you dont want it to go anywhere. Its normal to have disagreements, it really is. I know my husband is not ok with this because he found the text messages. I really hate my life. So not only did I fall in love with someone while married I also had a baby with him. Its easy to say CUT them OFF but its actually very tough to do if they are all you can think about for the moment. Its like I disappeared, but he still wants me to be with him. He finds reasons to be where you are. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions that can help identify the right solution for your situation. real relationship with two people at the same time. Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. my husband been cheating on me for the past year she says she not going any where and says he says he loves her and he is not letting me go no divorce .he is torn between the both of us what can i do to keep him from seeing her he tries ignore her calls but she finds her way to his job and where he hangs out that is where they meet up at. I know this can be difficult and hard, but if you find yourself not wanting to be in the relationship any longer, it is best to set aside some time to communicate this early on to your partner. We started talking for long everyday and started to share everything and now it has reached to the level that i feel like attached to her more than my wife (situation is same for my friend too). I reconnected with an old friend and I have fallen in love with him. This probably comes as no surprise but if youre serious about restoring and repairing your relationship with your husband or your wife, youve got to cut things off with the other man or woman. My heart was on flame for this man that helped me for my husband. She knows all that, we talk about it all, since she told me. I want this co-workers attention and I get it, so I feel guilty. Watch Paul explain this issue and learn how . Hello Daosk, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching. The sex part I tried, but it feels like I walked upon a wall and were not getting anywhere, so I stopped talking about that. Though you have to be in contact with him, you can still make sure that you arent texting or interacting with him when you dont need to be. You have to take a step back and really think about the long-term effects on every person involved in the situation. Do I let him come home and just let time When you see the person you love fall in love with someone else, it can break you. I love you. It is much more profitable to come from a place of compassion and understanding than criticism. What I can do, however, is provide you with some pointers on how to ask yourself honest questions that will allow you to get more clarity in terms of what you truly want to do. In this situation you are going to have to set boundaries and stick with them. All that being said, I dont know what to do with the emotions that I have bottled up for 50 years and that are now alive and well along with all the what ifs. I think even if he started treated me right, Id still want my bestie, because it feels like hes the other half of me. Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we are here to guide you from A to Z and answer all of your questions. We have an 18 year old. But when my husband returned home he was a stranger for me. He will have to meet you halfway. Thank you for your message and your interesting point! When I saw you laugh, it took every ounce of me. I have suggested couples therapy but her answer is for me to try it first. Before i met my husband i was dating and my ex loved me so much, he never cheated on me for 3yrs but i felt he was everywhere in my life and so i kinda lost interest. please I need help. What would your parents think? End the affair yourself, and . One of the keys for maintaining the bond between you and your significant other is showing them that you are genuinely interested in them. Ive seen this happen many times and a lot of the times it doesnt work it. I had a good friend(married) for last 7 years and everything was perfect in life. Because this is something that I come across from time to time in my one-on-one coaching sessions with the people I work with, I wanted to take the time to write an article for you on what to do when you are married, but in love with someone else! A handwritten letter is always a good way to organize your thoughts and present what you need to say in a calm and collected way. I have let my husband know that I am willing to work on the marriage he seemed to be on the fence but due to our long distance relationship and him still being encouraged with his other relationship its hard to try and fight for my marriage. Hi Im so glad I found your site This is precisely why it is so important to be honest with yourself and figure out what you truly want, and what you are willing to work for. Even in a relationship with someone who does not expect monogamy, loving someone else may bring . One day this summer he layed his hand on my knees saying I have great legs. This is not a lost cause if you dont want it to be. I knew I was not happy in my marriage; that there were things missing, and that I was very, very lonely and had been for a long time. My husband works out of town and I found out he had been having an affair. I was devastated and had no option than to hide away from him. I am not married but we have been together for 17years but I am going though the same guilt as if I was as I have met my soul mate my soul mate is married and I am waiting for him to divorce Which he is going to do he decided that the bond with his wife was there anymore i am waiting for him to divorce Which I said i would wait for him to divorce by the way we have not had a affair never did uf you understand what meeting your soul mate when your both in relationships Tom will be un contact with me when he is free What would happen to your children? Keep in mind that love is a choice. He said that he he kisses my picture every night before going to bed all these years. This period is temporary! He say he does want to think her he loves me more . Married But In Love With Someone Else? All of these elements pile up on top of us and make it feel impossible to make a decision. How do you navigate new love? In our busy lives, many people dont feel like they get to spend enough time with their partners, and this is especially important for those of us whose love language is quality time. I dont want to lose that! Unfortunately, many people are met with the painful realization that the love between them and their significant other was allowed to fizzle away. If you're having an affair, stop seeing each other while you work out what you want to do. She didnt know what decision to take in order to move forward, which option to choose, and how do feel confident in her approach. I have been patiently waiting for my husband while he has had this relationship for 3 months but im at my end. Release Calendar Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Browse Movies by Genre Top Box Office Showtimes & Tickets Movie News India Movie Spotlight. Because the emotions involved in the situation are so complicated, she felt completely paralyzed. Curious as to how you will handle it. I know this will affect my children, family and friends but everyday I think about the other girl. You might be wondering, Can you ever stop loving someone, but youre not going to be able to work this out if youre not 100% invested in saving your marriage and focusing on your spouse.